i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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