I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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