honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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