worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
