i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
