just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
