Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
