He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
