no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
