I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
