You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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