I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
