There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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