i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
