bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
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