If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize