I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I cut my penus on the lid.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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