My cat gives me a boner
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
