Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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