You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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