I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
