Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
