I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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