I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
