Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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