ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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