brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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