can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
