So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
