either way he was missing a nipple.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Watching her eat just hurts me
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize