I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize