You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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