Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
