just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
