how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
