He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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