u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
