It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
