hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
