Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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