kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
