all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
