Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
