Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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