Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
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