he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
