I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
