So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
