Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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