That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
