I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
