please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
