what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
