Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
