Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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