watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
