You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
