Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Randomize
