im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
